How do I prepare my heart for what's about to happen? In a whirlwind of tasks, chores, paperwork, phone calls, and preparation, is it even possible to consider my heart? I've decided it's more important than anything right now, even more important than packing or the hundreds of other things waiting to be accomplished before we board that plane. All of that can wait. My soul can not.
The anxiety that ensues upon preparation for such a trip can be overwhelming. The vast gambit of emotions can be taxing. There are 7 of us leaving for China in 4 days, each with a unique soul rhythm. In a household where Mom and Dad have to "hold it all together" for all these little personalities, it's hard to consider my own heart. But I must. So today I am pondering, praying, putting all (well, most) tasks aside, despite the urgency.
Maggie is half way around the globe, going through the motions of her day, clueless over what is about to take place. In 7 days, her world will be rocked. She will be ripped away from everything and anyone she knows. While her circumstances may be less than desirable, it's what she is comfortable with. Gotcha day is hard. It's like Christ hanging on the cross, in a sense. Everything is given up, separation occurs (again), and pain becomes fresh. Tears all around. Tears of sadness for what has already, unfortunately happened. Tears of fear. Tears of the unknown. Tears of confusion. Please pray for mercy all around.
But God. On gotcha day, those tears will also be tears of joy. Jesus bore great pain but he didn't stay there. He rose and secured redemption. That redemption is for Maggie too! So on Monday, while we grieve everything she's lost in her little life, we also rejoice. We give God praise for choosing her and for rescuing her. We will be reminded of how we, too, were rescued from the pit, pulled from the grip of shame and into the light.
This is a time we could be led to believe so many lies from the enemy. Our family of 7 traveling to a far off land, on a mission to bring home a sick child, with so many unknowns. Safety, health, comfort... but we must focus on truth. Truth tells us that we are children of God, ordained for a mighty purpose, never promised safety or comfort but always secure for His perfect plan. We embrace whatever that plan is, even if it's not what we hope for. God's plans are ALWAYS better than our own. I rest in that. I trust Him.
So as our trip approaches, and the biggest day of my life (again) rears its head, it is well with my soul. I am sure of God's hand laying over every moment of my life. I am sure that the anxiety occupying Maggie's heart, our hearts, will be overcome with a peace that surpasses understanding. Our God is a promise-keeper and He is faithful in bringing all things to completion. Today I sit still, reminding my heart of these truths and I choose to hold on to them until our return home... and way beyond.
"Be still and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10)
"Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you." (1Peter5:6-7)
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