I Have a Prayer

"Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it." (Luke 9:23-24)

I have a prayer. I have a deep desire for my time in China.

Yes, I'm praying for safety. I'm praying for Samuel, and for my family back home. I'm praying that God would complete and fulfill our adoption of Samuel and bring him home to be with us forever. But I want more.

I want to be reminded that Jesus is more than enough, all I need in this life.

I want to see the world through His eyes while I'm there. I pray that He would expose me to the worst, show me the pain like never before. I pray He breaks me over it.

I want to see "real" and I want to feel a fraction of the compassion that Christ has for these souls.

I want to remember the darkness I see in China, long after I leave that burdened, beautiful country.

I want to leave China different than when I arrived. I want to be changed forever. Again.

Then use me, Lord. Use me as a tool for your justice, Father. Rid me of myself. Make me brave.

Tear my heart in two that I might desire to sacrifice everything to make you known.

I have a prayer. And I'd love for you to share it with me.