Being "Pregnant" is Hard

My phone rings. Is it Logan (Lifeline social worker)?! Nope, just the bug man.

I click refresh on my email inbox 1,382 times. An email!! Oh wait, it's Brady's coach... not Logan.

If I check my Facebook groups again (even though I checked an hour ago), maybe there will be an announcement that a new shared list of waiting children will be released soon. Nothing.

Refining. Sanctifying. Humbling. I am thankful to be experiencing all this through the wait. I wrote about waiting HERE and all the wonderful plans God has through waiting. But if I'm being honest (and y'all know I don't have a problem being honest ;), I'm just weary today.

This past week or so (since the high of receiving our Log In Date) has been the most difficult week of the process thus far. I knew that waiting for a referral would be an emotional step and it has proven to be even more than I expected. I didn't expect to have a match a week after LID, nor do I expect to have one any time soon. But it's possible. And that's enough to make me crazy.

We set up Emily's new bedroom over the weekend. Thanks to great friends, she has a beautiful crib and furniture. She won't see her room for another several months but it's ready and waiting for her arrival... just like we are.

There are so many aspects (emotional and otherwise) of this process that I never understood before actually being in it. What's the big deal about waiting if you know ahead of time it's going to take a year or more? It's very hard to explain until you're in it. You go from pursuing adoption (like it's a process), to pursuing a specific child who you know belongs in your family. In God's perfect timing (I hope that's tomorrow), He will show us exactly who our daughter is. That's hard to wait for, y'all.

If you're a momma, you remember the anticipation you felt in the waiting room right before your ultrasound. Although she isn't born then, you get a glimpse of who she is. She can't come home to sleep in her crib just yet but oh the excitement of seeing her little profile. Maybe she's even sucking her thumb or jumping around. The pregnancy pangs are real and painful in both circumstances. I've carried 4 biological children (birthed 3 of them), and all 4 pregnancies were very difficult for different reasons but I'm not sure what's worse... the pain, sickness, and impatience through my biological pregnancies or the pain I feel with this "paper" pregnancy. At least with my first ones, they were tucked away, right there in my belly, for no one to hurt. They were with me every minute until they could come home.

I don't expect this to get any easier. In fact, I'll go out on a limb and say that when we are finally matched I may spend most of my days in anguish over when we can go get our little bundle. Can someone please remind me to feed my family during that time?

Grumbling and "woe to me" aside, I am truly thankful that this process is so difficult. Easy is never satisfying or rewarding. The joy of being united with Emily Hope one day will be so much sweeter knowing what we went through to get to her. When Jesus set out to rescue us, "easy" was not on his mind. He hung on a tree, and suffered hell, in order that the Father could be united with us!

I don't want easy. But if you could pray that my hard would lead to a deeper faith in Christ, that's my desire. I don't want any of my pain to be in vein nor do I ever want to lose sight of how thankful I need to be for the "real", rather than the "easy". If I'm focused on who Christ is, then hard is doable... even peaceful. "And the peace of God, which trandscends all understanding, will guide your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:7)                 

LID 09/16/2013

LID!!! Today is our official "log-in date" with China! This means our dossier has been authenticated, sent to China by our social worker (DTC), and officially logged in to the CCCWA (China Center for Children's Welfare and Adoption) database. For the past several months we have been working state-side through the home study process, Immigration approval, required coursework, etc. and now we enter a new realm... relationship with the Chinese government. Thankfully, our social worker will continue to act as a liaison. She, and the entire China team at Lifeline, are very experienced in all that needs to happen moving forward.

The next step will definitely end up being the most emotional experience thus far. We wait. But this time, we're not waiting on paperwork, government officials, stamps of approval, or reports. We now wait to receive a referral (deep breath). Not just a referral but a life. A little girl from halfway around the world will step in to our hearts very soon. I can only imagine the emotion that will overcome me when I stare in to the eyes of the little girl in that picture. They will be the eyes of our Emily Hope, the daughter we've been talking about, praying for, waiting to meet. Our lives will change drastically when we meet her on paper. Our world will be rocked. All of a sudden, we become terribly vulnerable yet incredibly sustained by our dependence on Him. It's at this point we realize there is no turning back. And we don't want to. God's call for us to adopt has suddently shifted to God's call to fight for our daughter. No, legally she won't be ours yet but at the moment God places her in our lives (even through a picture), she is ours. Period.

Will you please pray for us as we now wait for a referral? My prayer is first, for Emily Hope, wherever she may be. I pray that she is safe, protected from evil, that someone may hold and love her until we can get there. I pray for discernment on the day our referral arrives. I pray that God unites us with Emily Hope according to His will and timing.

Wanted

For my Emily Hope, for orphans around the globe, and for those who feel unwanted because they haven't met our Heavenly Father... You. Are. Wanted.

An Amazing Day at Tales & Ales

As you know, we had a unique opportunity this past Saturday to participate in "Tales & Ales" at the New Orleans Fairgrounds. Not only did we participate but were chosen, by Blue Deuce Entertainment, to be the beneficiary of a craft beer raffle at the event. Between the raffle and selling our t-shirts at the event, we made $940 to go towards our adoption expenses! We can not believe that our fundraising thermometer now sits at over $18,000! As always, all praise and glory to God who is making this possible!

The fundraising at this event was an incredible blessing but even more of a blessing was the opportunity we had to share our story with so many people. It's a privilege to watch the surprise on people's faces as we reveal to them God's will in our lives and His plan for all of us. I'm sure that most people who attended this event were non-believers and it was awesome being planted in an environment where we could share good news with them and hopefully be a light. "In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." (Matthew 5:16) Praying that people who heard our story gave praise to our Father!

I didn't take as many pictures as I wanted to. Thankfully, we had our hands full! I must give one more special thank you to... BLUE DEUCE ENTERTAINMENT! Russell and Ashley Doussan, your willingness to put us above other beneficiaries is humbling and we are forever grateful for your love and support. The event was a hit... y'all throw a good party! ;-)



Our sign at the event



Craft beer for the raffle

   

DTC 09/09/2013

DTC!!!!! Our social worker notified us that our dossier authentication is complete and she has sent our DOSSIER TO CHINA! We are officially DTC today. The CCCWA (China Center for Children's Welfare and Adoption) will now log us in to their database and we will be notified when we have an official log-in date (LID). This generally takes between 1-3 weeks to receive. Stay tuned for an update containing our LID date... this will be another big step for us!

"Praise him for his mighty deeds; praise him according to his excellent greatness!" (Psalm 150:2)

Adopt a Pie

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." (James 1:27)

That's God's call to every believer... to care for orphans and widows. It's simple. If we love the God who adopted us when we were (spiritual) orphans, the God who paid the ultimate price to have us in His home, then we will be compelled to love others with this same kind of love.

I understand how daunting the idea of adopting a child in to your home is. I'm there. I'm daunted. But you know our story is one where God stepped in and made a decision, not us. And I hope to encourage many of you, in the future, to discern if God may be calling you to this as well. For now, I'd like each of us to take a few steps back. Let's not focus on adoption (this may be the last time you hear me say that!).

I had the privilege of attending a ladies' gathering at Northshore Bible Church called "Adopt a Pie" last Monday evening. It involved an apron contest, a pie auction to benefit the McGinty adoption, and meeting some fantastic ladies. I can just hear each of you right about now... "aprons and pies on a Monday night, Woe... Laura is one wild and crazy lady!" I didn't win the "most unique apron" contest. In fact, I'm pretty sure I won the "probably shouldn't wear an apron... ever" title. What I did win was a beautiful cross necklace, handmade in Africa. Oh, and I "accidentally" won 2 pies in the auction... Oops!
                                                                               
               
  

The highlight of this night was a wonderful talk given by my friend, Angie McGinty. We heard about the McGinty's adoption story, the sad reality of so many orphans in need, and practical ways we can ALL help to fulfill God's will of caring for the "least of these." I am happy to write all about these ideas but I think I'd like to hand it over to Angie at this point. She wrote a beautiful blog post about what she shared at "Adopt a Pie." If you would, please take a few minutes to read her post and make the decision to help in one of these areas. http://themcgintysadopt.blogspot.com/2013/09/orphan-care-call-to-justice.html

Will you join me in grabbing hold of at least one of these this week?! Seamus and I are not in a position, at the moment, to give monetarily. We are obviously trying to save and raise funds for our own adoption. However, I commit to praying this week specifically for each of the organizations Angie mentions and for orphans around the world. I also commit to learning more about the foster care system, where there is a tremendous need right here in Louisiana. This may be a ministry God calls us to in the future and I'd love to start by learning more. Let's hold each other accountable. If you'd like to share what you are willing to commit to this week and beyond, I would love to encourage you on your journey!

Tales & Ales

We have been presented with a unique opportunity to raise funds for our adoption! The owner of Blue Deuce Entertainment (who happens to be a friend through tennis) approached us recently and said that his company would love to help with our adoption expenses. We are always grateful when people are touched by our story and want to help. 

Blue Deuce Entertainment is involved in putting on a big event at the New Orleans Fairgrounds each year called Tails & Ales. This year the event will be held Saturday, September 7th from 4-8pm. Tales & Ales includes world class quarter horse racing, premium beer tasting, lots of food and fun. Every year at this event, Blue Deuce sponsors a raffle where attendees can purchase a $5 ticket to win a huge mound of premium beer from around the world. The proceeds are always given to a cause they deem worthy. This year, Blue Deuce has decided that "Bringing Home Emily Hope" will be the one and only recipient of all funds raised at this raffle!

We can't wait for the event and will take plenty of pictures! I'll be excited to share pictures, the amount raised, and more about our day, so look for an update on my blog after the event. If y'all can make it out, we would love for you to stop by for the raffle! Sounds like it's going to be a super fun day. For now, a special shout out to...

BLUE DEUCE ENTERTAINMENT... Y'all are awesome!!! We are so thankful for your involvement in our journey!
www.facebook.com/bluedeuceentertainment

When is Emily Hope Coming Home?

This is the question we hear more than any other. Everyone wants to know when we actually go to China to pick up our daughter. Man, we want to know too! The truth is, we really don't have an answer for that, only an estimation. I'd love to explain a little more about the process and timeline to give you an idea of why it's such a rough guess. I'll spare you the time frame on milestones passed.

Currently, our dossier documents are being authenticated. When this is complete (in about 1 week), it will be sent to China and we will receive a log-in date (LID) about a week later. This is an important step because it means we are officially in China's database to begin the process with them.

Once we have a LID, we are eligible to receive a referral. A referral is the package that has a sweet baby's picture, possibly a short video of her, any medical history and other information they have about her (possibly when and where she was abandoned, birth date if it's known, etc.). When we receive a referral, we have the option to accept or ask for another. When we receive a referral, we will not make that public until we decide, through prayer, that particular child is absolutely our Emily Hope. From LID to receiving a referral can take anywhere between 1 and 6 months. This time frame depends on so many factors. We are praying to have a referral before our November Orphan Awareness fundraiser. How cool would that be to honor Emily Hope by unveiling her sweet face at this special event?!

Once we decide to accept the referral, we send a letter of intent (LOI) to China, stating our desire to adopt that particular child. They send us pre-approval (PA) about 5-10 days after they receive our LOI. That begins another long wait.

Our PA date starts the wait for our Letter of Approval (LOA). The current wait for LOA is about 3 months but I have seen couples get LOA after a month and others wait 6 months. At that point, it's all in the hands of the Chinese government and how quickly they work on our case. Well, it's really in God's hands but you know what I mean. ;-) Receiving LOA is probably the most exciting news an international adoptive parent can share. It is the letter that means that China has officially accepted us to adopt from China and to adopt that particular child. There are plenty of scenarios that can cause China to ask more questions, request more information, or even turn a family down. When I post, "LOA!", there will be a serious party happening at the Loman household.

After LOA is received, there are several mini-steps that occur before we travel. These steps should take about a month, maybe two. These steps involve things like applying for her visa, scheduling appointment with the US Consulate in China, cabeling documents to the foreign embassy, receiving travel approval, and booking travel. Then we're crossing oceans to bring home our baby girl!

So many acronyms, so much information. It's all very overwhelming to us too! We finally have a good grip on the process, what's involved, and an estimated time frame. I just wanted to share this with y'all because I know sometimes it doesn't make sense when we answer your question with, "Could be 4 months from now, could be a year." We love you to ask us when Emily's coming home. So please, keep those questions coming! It means you care and that is big time encouragement for us.

Grass, Worms, Orphans

I actually wrote this post on 8/19. I was literally typing the last line when the mail lady pulled up and I ran to find our Immigration approval letter in the mail. I couldn't post twice in one day so I saved this. :)

Today was my Anna Grace's first day of Kindergarten. Mercy. After dropping her off (and holding back the tears), I got a lot done this morning as I was finally on my own with the day off of work. I love my kiddos but the summer was loooooong. I spent most of the morning talking to businesses about our event in November. Can someone please remind me why I was ever in outside sales? Seriously... Yuck! Our house had plenty of laundry and dishes waiting for me but I decided to put that off. I decided instead to mow the lawn and weed our front beds.

Disclaimer: I am by NO means a tree hugger but I'm just warning... I'm about to weird out on y'all.

God wooed me today as I completed the simple task of working in the yard. It was hot and hard. There were earthworms and bugs and even a snake (dead because my kids played with it yesterday until it died... but a snake nonetheless). I loved every minute of it... the sun on my skin, the sweat dripping down, the smell of grass, the soil under my finger nails, the buzzing of the honey bees all around me, the worms and bugs, and especially the cold glass of lemonade that my sweet neighbor walked over. I love God's creation and He so beautifully shared it with me today.

The fact that God revealed so much of His beautiful world to me today reminded me that I just don't do it enough. I pass by every day in my rush to get to work, cook dinner, or whatever else the day holds. It's easy to forget how special the little things are. Turns out, they're not so little. It's all created by God and if we would just behold them, we'd notice how spectacular they are, how spectacular HE is.

My experience this afternoon reminded me of how easily we just pass by the orphans of this world. They're all right under our noses, waiting to be loved, waiting to share their beauty with us, waiting to feel the love of Christ. But we walk past them, without thinking about it, without even knowing we're doing it. God wants us to focus on our work, our homes, our families. We bring Him glory when we are tending to these things. But He also wants us to take our shoes off and feel the soil in our toes. He wants us to enjoy his earth and give him thanks for it, and he also wants us to look past our living rooms and reach out to a hurting world.

Before Seamus and I were bonked on the heads about adoption, I'm pretty sure I was oblivious to God's love of orphans. I mean, I thought it was sad and all but I wasn't doing much about it. And the truth is, just because we're adopting a child doesn't mean we're doing enough. My very sweet friend Angie McGinty will be speaking Monday night at a local church's ladies' gathering. I will be there to support her and to hear all the practical ways we, as believers, can help relieve the orphan crisis and share the love of Christ. Oh yeah, and there's a pie auction to benefit the McGinty adoption... pie... I'm there. I am eager and excited to have her educate me on practical ways I can help. I'd love to share these ideas with you and will blog about that very soon.

God may be calling you to adopt an orphan. I pray daily that hearts would be softened to give homes to so many in need. And I ask that you be open to how he may be speaking to you about this. God may NOT be calling you to adopt. But He absolutely calls all of us to care for orphans. This looks different in everyone's walk. Some people are prayer warriors, some have financial means to donate, some have room in their homes for children in need, the list of gifts that enable a person to help goes on and on. I look forward to sharing ways we can all help. Keep an eye out for a blog post soon on ways you can get involved!

I-800A Immigration Approval Received

Another major milestone conquered! Woot woot!

We have been waiting for our USCIS (Immigration) approval since they received our application on June 7th. We found out that an officer had been assigned to our case on Tuesday, August 6th. She reviewed our file (home study, fingerprints, etc.) and approved us to be adoptive parents of a Hague convention country on Wednesday, August 14th! We received our approval letter in the mail today and immediately scanned it to our social worker at Lifeline.

Now what? While we were waiting for our Immigration approval, we were busy gathering all the required documents for our dossier (the packet that goes to China). Our I800A approval letter was all that our social worker was waiting for to complete our dossier. Now that she has every piece, she begins authentication (Secretary of State seal and other legal necessities). It takes 2-3 weeks to authenticate our dossier and then it's off to China!

I must say, completing this step and seeing our dossier off to China makes it more real than ever! It's clear that we are getting closer and closer to meeting our Emily Hope. It's all very bitter sweet because we are so excited to wrap our arms around her and bring her home but we know there's still a good bit of time that separates us. And we know that a lot can happen in that amount of time. It's daunting to consider. If you would, please continue to pray for our family. We are trusting in the peace of God that transcends all understanding. Please pray for that peace to cover our hearts every day and for our focus to remain on Christ, the only source of good. We understand God's providence, his holy hand holding our Emily Hope. But y'all, it's so hard to be on this side of our adoption. The tugging of my heart strings... harder and stronger as we get closer. I see pictures daily of the inside of Chinese orphanages, as other adoptive parents post the joys of picking up their bundles. I see babies in the background, in metal cribs (many without a mattress or blanket), on the floor, wherever, and I wonder if that could be our Emily Hope. I can't imagine the pain we will experience after knowing who she is but not yet able to go scoop her up. (Sigh) Yes, this is so real, all of it. We do long for the day we are looking back at this process when all the pain will have been so worth it!

Just a sidenote, I created a page to track our adoption timeline. You can go to that page (link on the top right column of blog) at anytime to see where we are in the process.

Also, we just placed another big order of youth and adult sized t-shirts. So, if you haven't ordered yours yet, shoot me an email (lauraloman@yahoo.com) or click HERE for more details!