Waiting. It's hard. It's so contrary to our carnal world. It's not something we tend to appreciate. Society tells us that we should have what we want when we want it. Our culture is impulsive, telling us that "now" is the time. "We've worked hard. We're doing the right thing. We deserve it. Why wait?" I'm guilty of this. I can grow weary. And skeptical. And fearful. I want my Emily Hope now. I want to know that she's being cared for. I want what's best for her and in my mind, that's being home, in our family... NOW. But God knows better.
God's word tells us over and over again that waiting is a good thing.
"But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." (Isaiah 40:31)
"Be patient, therefore, brothers, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient about it, until it receives the early and the late rains. You also, be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand." (James 5:7-8)
"The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him." (Lamentations 3:25)
"Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!" (Psalm 27:14)
God uses waiting to sanctify us, to make us more like Him. It draws us deeper into relationship with Him. It forces us to rely on Him, rather than on our own flawed plans. Patience is the fruit of a faithful spirit (Galations 5:22). How patiently I wait for God's will to unfold reveals my trust (or lack of) in God. 'Patience is the willingness to suffer- to put aside plans for a person, to lay aside self to serve, to set aside agendas to step up to an altar.' God is sovereign over everything and nothing is outside of His will. When I grow impatient in my waiting (for Emily, through pain or illness, in any context really), I am saying that I don't trust in God's sovereignty. Can he really handle this situation? Does He really know what He's doing by allowing our wait for Emily to be pushed back even further? Am I willing to suffer, trusting He's got it all in the palm of His hand? Y'all... Yes, Yes, and Yes!
Friends, I do grow weary, skeptical, anxious, and fearful. I need to be reminded of the very truth I'm sharing with you here. I need to be reminded that God has a perfect plan for my life and for Emily's life, reminded that nothing can ever separate us from the love of God, reminded that His timing is perfect and any events that I consider "obstacles" can and will be used for God's glory, reminded that my times of waiting are opportunities to be in prayer and relationship with the only one who can accomplish this adoption (and everything else for that matter). I need to be reminded that no ministry is worth a darn if I'm not being still and waiting for the Lord's voice.
Waiting. It's hard. But I thank God that He makes me wait. I thank Him for making Emily Hope wait. And I thank Him for His perfect timing. I may not understand His timing but I do know it's perfect... and I'm kinda okay with perfect.
"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope." (Psalm 130:5)